To Brine or Not to Brine? That is the Question!!

I recently found myself in a spirited debate with someone who had the audacity to tell me they didn't like my turkey. Now, let's be completely honest here—I don't even love turkey that much myself. I've tasted smoked turkey from some of the best pitmasters in the country, and at the end of the day, I'd trade a slice of turkey for a perfectly smoked rib faster than you can say "pass the gravy." But hey, it's turkey season, and Thanksgiving is all about family, community, and trying to avoid political debates at the dinner table—which is right up our alley here at K-Town Pit Que.

So, back to this turkey critic. They claimed they liked their turkey plain: a light seasoning on the outside and then sliced from the inside. I'm sorry, but that sounds about as exciting as unbuttered toast. Who wants flavorless bird meat wrapped in tough, chewy skin? Not this guy!

Seasoning the Skin: A Fool's Errand

First off, seasoning the outside of a turkey and expecting flavor to permeate is like yelling at a brick wall and expecting it to take out the trash. The skin and fat act as a barrier, so all that seasoning just sits there, looking pretty but not doing much else. You end up with a flavorful (and very tough) piece of skin and meat that's about as tasty as cardboard. This is where brining comes to the rescue.

Wet Brine vs. Dry Brine: Choose Your Fighter

There are two main camps when it comes to brining: wet brine and dry brine.

Team Wet Brine

Personally, I'm all about the wet brine. There's something almost magical about submerging your turkey in a flavorful bath. You start by cleaning the bird and preparing a brine that's salty enough to make the ocean jealous. Throw in your favorite aromatics—my secret is adding a handful of cranberries for that festive flair—and let the turkey take a nice, long soak for 24 hours or more.

A few years back, I started using one of those big orange water coolers—you know, the ones you see at construction sites or being dumped over a coach's head after a big win. They're insulated and HUGE, perfect for brining a turkey. Plus, it gives me the chance to tell people I have a turkey in a cooler, which always gets interesting looks.

Here's the play-by-play:

1. Boil the Brine: Heat up water with all your chosen herbs and spices. The hot water helps to release all those delicious flavors—think of it as a spa day for your turkey.

2. Cool It Down: Add a ton of ice because we're not trying to poach the bird before it hits the smoker. We just want it to relax and soak up all that goodness.

3. Let It Soak: Place the turkey in the cooler and let it brine for at least 24 hours. I like to check in at the 12 and 24-hour marks to make sure everything is still cold and safe. Nobody wants a side of food poisoning with their Thanksgiving dinner.

4. Smoke It Up: Once adequately brined, it's time to introduce the turkey to the smoker and let the real magic happen.

Team Dry Brine

Now, some folks swear by dry brining. That's cool—for steaks. But when it comes to turkey, I can't help but picture the seasoning sliding right off the bird like a failed attempt at buttering toast. If dry brining is your thing, more power to you, but I'll stick with my tried-and-true wet brine method.

Frozen vs. Fresh: The (Cold) Hard Facts

As I'm writing this, I can't help but think about the frozen versus fresh turkey debate. You can snag a frozen turkey for about $0.27 a pound or splurge on a fresh one for around $5.00 a pound. Do they taste different? In my experience, not really. Plus, wet brining a frozen turkey is like killing two birds with one stone (pun intended). Drop that frozen bird into your brine for 48 hours, and the water will help defrost it while infusing all those delicious flavors. Efficiency for the win!

The Final Gobble

At the end of the day, if you want a turkey that doesn't taste like seasoned cardboard, give brining a try. Think about the flavors your family loves and go wild with the aromatics. But be warned: brine a beautiful turkey this year, and you'll be crowned the official Turkey Master for every Thanksgiving to come. Wear that title with pride—or use it as leverage to get out of dish duty.

Remember, Thanksgiving isn't just about the turkey; it's about bringing people together, even if it's to argue over the best way to cook a bird. And who knows? Maybe this year, your turkey will be the one that converts even the most stubborn skeptics—including yourself.

Happy brining, folks!